Page 57 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 4

Comment Joachim Kristahn, Germa-
ny, psychologist and psy-
to „Understanding of Marriage chotherapist. Chairman
of IGNIS (www.ignis.de).
and Final Marriage Counselling“ Leader of the area Marriage
and Family and of the ADS
Joachim Kristahn Counselling Service. He
previously led a centre for
Manfred Engeli certainly belongs to the pioneers in his children, young people and
special field of professional and, simultaneously, Chris- counselling, „Die Arche“, in
tian marriage counselling. His longing for God can be Bremen.
detected clearly in the preceding pages.
Seldom have I read a Christian therapeutic concept which
was able to establish itself in the public counselling land-
scape and, at the same time, contains biblical reflection in and that a new balance (homoeostasis) is necessary. The
every strand of the texture. symptoms can thus perhaps even be seen and evaluated
The themes of sanctification and discipleship are cons- positively (pos. connotation). The behaviour in the sys-
tantly present, as becomes clear in the section “Conse- tem thus appears in a new frame (reframing). “Stuck-in-
quences for marriage counselling” and in the points the-groove” stories can suddenly be told in a completely
“Important aims” and “Important topics”. Conflicts are new way. New, transforming perspectives thus come into
used precisely to recognise the individual “old man” and, the system, especially if we assume that God is a part of
in keeping with Col. 3, to lay him aside or to put on the the system and ask how he might tell the story of this
“new man”. This is successful when each of the partners married couple, of this conspicuous behaviour, and also
does it, but also when one wishes to live sanctification for how he would tell it for the future. Which message could,
himself. Here we find the principle of “unilateral disar- from his viewpoint, be behind the behaviour/symptoms?
mament” again. Even simply reflecting on this and praying can be enough
This is the make-up of the marital person, a key point to bring big changes.
in Engeli’s understanding of marriage: “The marital per- In ourexperience, not every married couple canbe coun-
son is the client for whom we work in marriage coun- selled using the same concept. They differ too much for
selling. We come to this person’s aid by promoting the that. Nor are all counsellors equally open for all approa-
personal development of the partners. By their changes ches. In addition, there are in the field of marriage coun-
towards each other, the marital person changes as well. selling so many different Christian movements with their
The partners becoming themselves and the development own experiences that an astonishing number of approa-
of the marriage relationship are not fundamental contra- ches to marriage counselling and spiritual advice exist.
dictions; they belong together.” We wish to pass on skills in some of these in our advan-
The formulated statements of the therapeutic directions ced training courses for marriage counsellors.
of the Bible in the field of marriage counselling I view I recently asked a married couple, for example, if they
with the greatest respect! This motivation has been an would prefer to work on their conflicts, to train in com-
integral part of IGNIS since its foundation in 1986. Yet, munication with each other, or actively to devote atten-
there is an additional one on top of that: the wish to ap- tion to the friendship in their marriage, thus creating the
proach without anxiety, and as a matter of course, the chance for them to develop more passionate feelings for
various secular concepts and to enter into an analytical each other again. They decided to work on their friend-
1
and procedural dialogue with them . This happens on the ship.
basis of a Christian concept of man and, correspondingly, We thus have both at IGNIS: a discipleship part, cha-
a relational understanding of the world. racterised by trust in his presence and his word, and a
The task is therefore to penetrate all aspects of topics such Christian psychology part, which likewise points to him
as communication, conflict resolution, sexuality and also, (example: system view). Both enrich each other mutually.
for example, the system view from a Christian perspecti- This attitude is also at the basis of our advanced training
ve, to “metabolize” them and, in certain cases, to provide in marriage counselling (see box).
new formulations. This, too, is a characteristic of profes-
sional marriage counselling. Recommendation:
In counselling sessions with those of our clients in whom Eheberaterkurs
the problem has become visible, the systematic view, for
example, is a challenge to us as Christians not to treat Herbst 2013, 5 Wochenenden
them automatically as so-called “identified patients”. This Fortbildung für alle Interessierten mit therapeuti-
person is perhaps more a “bearer of truth or hope” and is schen oder seelsorgerlichen Vorkenntnissen
indicating that something has changed within the system Beginn am 27./28. September 2013 in Winterthur
GvC Winterthur, Quellenhof-Stiftung Jobarena
1 Halder, Kathrin (2011) Die Grundlagen Christlicher Psycho- Leitung: Joachim Kristahn
logie - Ein Lehrbuch. Vol. 2: Zum Wirklichkeitsverständnis der Info: www.ignis.de/Seminare/Eheberaterkurs.html
Christlichen Psychologie. IGNIS: Kitzingen.

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