Page 93 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 21

Werner May (Germany) was the senior chairman of the IGNIS Instute for Chris-
�an Psychology in Kitzingen for more than 25 years(www.ignis.de). As a teacher
his main interest was in basic ques�ons of Chris�an Psychology and in counse-
ling of foster families. He also helped to build up the Ins�tute for Chris�an Psy-
chology, Educa�on and Therapy in Switzerland (www.icp.ch). Now he is the
chairman of the European Movement for Chris�an Anthropology, Psychology
and Therapy (www.emcapp.eu) and publishes the free e-journal Chris�an Psy-
chology Around The World (h�ps://emcapp.ignis.de/). Werner has been mar-
ried to Agnes for now 50 years. They live in Würzburg, Germany, and have six
adult children.
Werner May
(Germany) Former ar�cles by Werner available here:

h�ps://emcapp.ignis.de/20/#p=71
h�ps://emcapp.ignis.de/19/#p=56
h�ps://emcapp.ignis.de/18/#p=53
h�ps://emcapp.ignis.de/17/#p=34
h�ps://emcapp.ignis.de/16/#p=37
h�ps://emcapp.ignis.de/15/
h�ps://emcapp.ignis.de/12/#p=29
h�ps://emcapp.ignis.de/2/

The Agape Ques�onnaire for Self-reflec�on

Ques�onnaires on personality traits can be 4. Self-denial: Self-denial goes beyond the
helpful if I do not see them as a defini�ve usual norms of social behaviour, has a capacity
statement ("This is who I am!"), but as a more for renuncia�on while giving something of
or less focused snapshot that gives me ideas oneself, and no longer takes place within the
for further reflec�on and possibly also for framework of professional ac�vity.
seeking dialogue with others. 5. Giving �me: Giving �me not only means
being ready and present at the right moment,
Over 10 years ago, we developed an Agape but also shows quali�es such as constancy, i.e.
ques�onnaire for self-reflec�on, which I would loyalty, consistency and perseverance.
like to present here. We formulated ques�ons 6. Pro-feelings in rela�onships: Pro-feelings
in eight categories. are feelings of compassion, of being in�mately
1. Being for the other: Being for the other touched, involved and addressed.
means affirming the existence of the other, 7. Se�ng boundaries: Within the human
their individuality, being willing to live for the rela�onship reality, an important learning
other with the inten�on of improving the process in love is to accept the limits of the
other's situa�on. "It is good that you exist." human ability to love and to set limits in and
2. Helping: Helping means suppor�ng the out of love.
other person and wan�ng to encourage them. 8. Love as a chance happening: The essence of
3. Loving selflessly: Love willingly puts itself on agape cannot be self-generated, but goes
the sidelines, is completely centred on the beyond our own efforts, as it is in fact mainly
other, but is combined with empathy and grace. It comes to us, it happens to us.
perspec�ve-taking.

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