Page 193 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 5

Trauma Recovery Training at a Seminary? Introducing Global Trauma Recovery Institute

condly, when we are in pain that is exactly what trauma starts with the person we tell our sto-
we want it to do! ry to. When we speak, we are heard. We are
We also know from research that as time passes heard by someone who seeks to understand and
trauma survivors end up carrying a smaller pi- feel with us and who is safe. We are no longer
ece of the whole - especially if the story has been isolated and alone in our suffering. However,
told. As life goes on around the survivor new we must eventually choose whether we will love
experiences and new relationships affect them again, care again or reach for another human
and they can learn new responses to their past being again. Trauma took away choice. Sur-
instead of those the trauma taught them. Over viving and then telling our story returns that
time, survivors can choose what they want to do to us. We must choose what we will do with
with their suffering. They cannot erase it, but humans. We can hide, hate, or run from them
over time they can choose how to use it. but then the trauma still has mastery. Every act
So, say with me what three things do we need of kindness, every act of helpfulness, every act
in order to begin recovering from trauma - tal- of forgiveness and every act of love defies the
king, tears and time. Remember is has to be all trauma. It is as though you are standing and fa-
three – talking once will not do it; repetition cing what tried to destroy you and putting your
over time is necessary. Talking can also be done hands on your hips and saying, “No, you will
in a way that does not include the heart. Tears not own me. You will not make me less than
alone will not do it as no mastery will come – human. You will not create me in your own
words are necessary too and again need to be image of darkness, helplessness, aloneness and
repeated over time. Time alone is not enough fear. I choose to be kind; I choose to love again;
either as the truth is not stated or owned nor is I choose to forgive; I choose to be connected
it actively managed and the victim remains at to my fellow human beings.” Perpetrators of
the mercy of the memories just as they were at violence destroy trust and care. Survivors can
the mercy of the trauma. reclaim what was lost little by little and choose
those things again. Part of what giving good or
Second Phase of Trauma Recovery giving care to others does for us is to reverse the
Talking, tears and time are instruments the sur- terrible feelings of humiliation. Violence makes
vivor can use to help themselves toward reco- us feel degraded; less than human; full of sha-
very. More is needed however. The things we me. Every small act of caring for other humans
have mentioned are all focused back towards reminds us and others of our humanity and the-
the past, towards the trauma. Again, it is like re is both defiance of evil and dignity in that.
the broken leg – initially all energy is focused The second thing is purpose – something that is
on the brokenness, the pain and what needs to often found in work but can be found in other
be done for that leg to heal. However, if that is ways as well. Some years ago I went to the Domi-
all that the patient does, he will never walk right nican Republic and remember walking through
again. This next stage is about learning all over the slums of the capital and seeing men sitting
again how to walk through life. around doing nothing with little expression in
Also remember that recovery from trauma re- their faces and eyes that looked dead.
quires a reversal of the experience of the trau- There was no work. They could not provi-
ma - which was a threat to life, without choice de anything for their families. They were de-
and full of fear. Trauma silences us; isolates us pressed and had no self-respect. They felt less
and we are helpless to stop it. Trauma destroys than men. Many of them coped by drinking
love, dignity and purpose. Our second phase and there was a lot of violence in the homes.
speaks to those same three things in different They had no sense of purpose and they could
ways. The next stage involves loving relation- not see any reason for them to exist.
ship; purpose/work and faith. Let us look at We are meant to have purpose. When God first
each one in turn. made the world and it was still good men and
First, what do I mean by loving relationship? women worked. He made us to work. It gives
Returning to relationship after the shattering of us dignity, meaning and purpose. We can see

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