Page 190 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 5
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Trauma Recovery Training at a Seminary? Introducing Global Trauma Recovery Institute
If I start crying I will never stop – or, if I feel ren but not for adults – that somehow they are
the grief or hopelessness I will fall into a black a sign of weakness. This verse says that the God
hole and never get out. Many will try hard not who created us considers our pain, he pays at-
to feel anything and oftentimes people will use tention to it and he collects our tears in a bottle
alcohol or drugs to help them feel numb. The and writes them in his book because we matter,
think if they stay drunk or use drugs they can what happened matters and our feelings about
keep the memories and feelings away. When it matter to him also. He is recording our sto-
people do such things they spend their lives still ry and our tears for us. We will help others in
controlled by the trauma because everything their recovery if we learn to be like him in the
they are doing is about running from it. It is way we treat feelings. We honor others and
just as much in charge of their lives as when it help them record the story of their trauma by
was occurring. listening to their words and their tears. Tears
At the same time, it is very important for all of require strength and courage because it means
us to remember that telling a trauma story – fa- facing pain.
cing the truth – and expressing the deep and Many of those who are traumatized will be
painful emotions that keep company with trau- afraid to face and feel the feelings related to the
ma – takes tremendous courage. Most people trauma. They fear losing control of themselves
cannot do it alone. They need connection with and fear the pain and suffering they will endu-
a caring and patient person to help them have re. These fears are understandable for the fee-
the courage to face the truth of what happened lings surrounding the trauma are very powerful
and how it hurt them. A companion in tragedy and the feeling of such emotions can quickly
or difficulty always helps us have courage. recreate the trauma in which the survivor felt
Many emotions cannot be adequately expressed overwhelmed and helpless. Dealing with and
in words and so non-verbal ways are important. healing from such feelings will never occur easi-
I have often asked people to draw or paint me a ly. Feeling will alternate with numbness and ex-
picture of their sadness or fear or grief. Many haustion. Those breaks are necessary and must
years ago I saw a woman who was a dancer and not be rushed. Emotions must be experienced
she created a dance that told the story of what little by little so they do not overwhelm like the
happened to her and how she felt. Sometimes trauma did. It feels much safer to experience the
people write stories or poems or songs. People emotions of trauma with someone who will li-
create symbolic jewelry or other art objects to sten, assure them their feelings are normal and
symbolize the trauma and its pain. As humans not condemn them. Grief is one of the most
we often express deep feelings through creative intense emotions that accompany trauma and
avenues – good feelings too like joy or love – so we will be spending an entire session on that
and so I think it is helpful to encourage trauma tomorrow.
survivors to use such means for their pain as You will find that for many trauma survivors
well. Use the rich traditions in your own cultu- there are one or two specific memories that
re to assist this process. have become symbolic for the whole experi-
There is a verse in the book of Psalms, in chap- ence. Sometimes we can figure that out by liste-
ter 56 there is says: “You (meaning God) have ning well and hearing what memory or part of a
taken account of my mourning and put my memory the survivor keeps returning to. Those
tears in your bottle. Are they not also in your segments represent the whole in some way and
book?” This is a very important truth because also carry intense emotion. I remember a man
often we are uncomfortable with strong emoti- who grew up in the slums and witnessed much
ons – there may be cultural things that say such violence on the street and in the home. He was
feelings are not proper, religious teachings that repeatedly raped by his stepfather. He vividly
say it shows unbelief to have such feelings or remembers looking through the blinds covering
family teachings that suggest we should just be the window one day and watching his mother
tough and not have feelings or that feelings are walk down the sidewalk. He talked about see-
alright for women but not for men or for child- ing life through the blinds. It was, though he
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