Page 189 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 5
P. 189
Trauma Recovery Training at a Seminary? Introducing Global Trauma Recovery Institute
must occur to reverse this and bring about re- They come out in broken pieces, disordered and
covery. All three must happen. Just one of them perhaps unclear. Sometimes people “talk” first
will not be enough. The three things are: tal- an activity like drawing and then the words will
king, tears and time. Let‘s look at each one. follow.
How many of you in this room know how to Talking is about telling the truth. It connects the
talk? How many of you do talk? Does anyone survivor to another person. It restores dignity
know someone who does not or never has tal- because their story matters. It gives them choice
ked? It would seem that talking is part of being because they can decide when to speak or be si-
human, yes? It is how God made us. He meant lent and victims get to choose their own words.
for us to talk; to express ourselves; to dialogue Again it is the reversal of what happened during
together with him and with each other. When the trauma. Injustice, violence and abuse teach
someone does not talk, something is broken. us lies. Such events suggest we are worthless
There may be something physically wrong. Or and do not matter. Talking about the trauma
there may be emotional wounding. Sometimes tells the truth and gives dignity because the sto-
when people do not talk at all or do not talk ry matters as does it impact. Violence and abu-
about a particular event it is because the pain se disconnect us from caring relationships. We
is so great they cannot find the words at all - or are alone and we are not considered. Telling the
they just keep saying the same thing over and trauma story gives a place of caring connection
over again trying to find the right words and get that helps the soul. Trauma recovery requires
relief. talking and as the story is repeated over and
Talking is absolutely necessary for recovery. over, strength to say and grasp the truth grows.
Even though words are inadequate they must How many of you have ever shed tears? How
be spoken. To remain silent is to fail to honor many have had the experience of wanting to cry
the event and memory. By honoring the me- but feeling like you cannot? How many have
mory I mean speaking the truth about it, saying had the experience of someone telling you that
it really happened, saying it was really evil and you should not cry?
saying that it really did damage. It dishonors Trauma recovery also requires tears. Facing
victims when we are silent about their expe- a new world full of losses brings grief. Many
rience or pretend it did not occur or was not emotions are the companions of trauma: fear,
important. Talking says I am here; what happe- sadness, aloneness, humiliation, despair, anger
ned was wrong; I am damaged by it; justice is and grief are some of them. These are strong
needed and so is care for my broken heart. At emotions and they are hard to experience. The-
the beginning talking might not be done using se are not feelings any of us want in our lives.
words. Sometimes people only moan or sigh However, like words they must be expressed.
or cry or scream. It is the beginning of giving Feelings tell the story as much as words tell the
voice to that which cannot be spoken. Many story. Feelings express what the trauma did to
times people need us to sit with them in silence. the victim just like blood shows what a cut did
It is a way of joining with them so they are not to the skin. It is like seeing and acknowledging
alone in their experience of struggling to find the physical wounds on the body after an acci-
words. We help them know they and their suf- dent. Feelings are the expression of the wounds
fering are not invisible. Eventually words must of the heart and they too need to be seen and
come. Sometimes people need help with that. It heard.
can be helpful to say to someone I am going to For some people words tend to come first.
say one word and if it describes what you felt or That is actually good because choosing words,
saw just nod your head. You might use words saying words and having someone listen and
such as horrifying, dark, alone, grief, fear, over- honor them helps to strengthen the survivor to
whelming, hopeless, or pain. Little by little you face his/her feelings. It also connects them to
help them find words until they can give you a caring person they can then trust to bear the
pieces of the story. Trauma stories do not first terrifying feelings with them. Many victims try
come out with a beginning, middle and an end. hard not to feel and will often say things like:
189
