Page 155 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 5

A Portrait of a Christian Psychologist: Paul C. Vitz

Obviously, the patient does not have the free- hurt them commonly benefit from self pity or
dom to stop hating in the sense of easily aban- the “sick role” that the hatred maintains (Fitz-
doning hate filled structures built up over many gibbons, 1986). The self-pity and victim status
years. But, as stated, patients do have the free- which are so popular today often express this
dom to begin to stop hating, although the pro- benefit of hatred. That is, a person’s victim sta-
cess is hard and requires sustained effort. One tus allows one to rationalize inadequacy and
of the major helps provided by a psychothera- failures (see Sykes, 1992).” I am an adult child
pist and also by a spiritual advisor is to focus of an abusing alcoholic whom I hate for ruining
people on their need to let go of hatreds and to my life. How can you expect me to be a normal
maintain that focus over time, since it is com- functioning adult?”
mon that the choice to let go of hatred and often 2. Hatred of others can provide lots of social sup-
to forgive has to be made many times and with port and with it friendships. Many of us enjoy
respect to different memories and interpre- the special feelings of support that come from
tations of the “enemy”. (This emphasis on the being in groups that have our enemies. “We all
patient’s will can be interpreted as an example hate the boss” or “We get along fine. We all hate
of Meissner’s (1993) “self as agent.” Meissner, a Pres. Bush”; or “we all hate Pres. Obama.”
well known psychoanalyst interprets the self as 3. And there are the wonderful direct positive
a super-ordinate structural construct represen- rewards from hatred. For example, hatred gives
ting the whole person and containing the wil- us both energetic purpose and the basic pleasu-
ling or responsible self as agent, as actor.) re of expressing anger. After all, hatred is fueled
As noted, it is an assumption here that hatred by the primary drive aggression and its expres-
of a person, not of a behavior or injustice, is sion is often intrinsically “fun” in its own right.
at bottom harmful to mental well being. From This joy of the direct expression of violence,
a psychological perspective hatred can view- anger, etc. has long been known. Very simply
ed as a type of defense mechanism—which is hatred and revenge provide purpose to life and
not to imply that all defense mechanisms are make people feel alive and powerful. For those
inherently pathological. Some (e.g., sublimati- who have seen the movie “Princess Bride” you
on) are healthy when employed properly. The may recall the oft repeated: “My name is Inigo
development of a person’s basic ego strength Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
and an adequate measure of self worth often Or more generically “Take that you rat and that
require defensive or protective psychological and that!”
responses—rather as the body wards off threats 4. Finally and probably the most common re-
to its integrity. This is especially true in child- ason for the joy of hating is the feeling of mo-
hood when many defenses are set up because ral pride in one’s self. After all, you are morally
few other options are available or known to the superior to the “immoral” or “truly horrible”
child. However, our focus will be on the reasons person who hurt you. Such gratifying feelings
why adults seem to like hating other people. of moral superiority are probably the most fre-
quently observed rewards of hatred. This moral
The Joy of Hatred superiority builds our self-esteem. “Liberals are
Yes, adults, many times truly like to hate their hopelessly immoral, look at their stand on abor-
enemies. We enjoy creating fantasy scenarios tion. I am so glad I’m not like them” or “Conser-
and sometimes even real scenes where we get vatives are really immoral look at their position
back at those who have hurt us. Indeed, revenge on the Iraq war. I’m so glad I’m not like them.”
is so popular that it is one of the major themes More personally we have the familiar “Of course
in great literature from the Iliad to Star Wars. I forgive you dear. That’s part of my job. I am the
Why is hatred so much fun? How do I hate morally good person in this marriage.”
you? Let me count the ways! Or at least begin In short, hate gives us the benefits of self-pity,
to identify some of the more important ways. maintains social support from friends with the
(Kernberg, 1990) same hatreds, and it provides both energetic
1. People filled with hatred for some one who purpose and the sheer pleasure of morally ac-

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