Page 45 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 20
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sally. The therapist, as a result of their own de-     ted to find a way to calm his li�le brother’s dis-
        velopmental struggles and subsequent healing           tress. Finally, dad and mom purchased a blan-
        rela�onships, is the recipient of the gi� of faith     ket that was nearly iden�cal to the one that
        given by others who provided assurance of              was lost and it appeared to sa�sfy the li�le
        “things not seen” as of yet in their own lives.        one’s need, to everyone’s great relief. Trium-
        The therapist’s own experience of an “other”           phantly, the older brother exclaimed, “Crisis
        having faith for them, even when they did not          averted!” He knew that dad and mom would be
        have it for themselves, was the gi� received           able to resolve the dilemma, and could rest as-
        that could become the gi� given to others.             sured that his parents as good and trustworthy
                                                               caretakers, would come to the rescue. The
        A Gi� Demands to Be Passed On                          middle son was at the stage of development in
        Marcel Mauss (1989) in his path-breaking work          which the blanket represented a part of mom-
        on gi�ing prac�ces among tribal groups, disco-         my (9), and not having the developmental skills
        vered a notable aspect of the MŌori gi�-giving         to understand differently, he was understanda-
        prac�ce. What he discovered in this unique             bly terrified. On other occasions this older bro-
        se�ng, was the magical power that a gi� car-           ther would be observed consoling one or both
        ried, one which bound the community together           of his younger brothers, hugging them and tel-
        and which must be passed on. Paul Ricoeur              ling them “it’s going to be okay.”
        (2005), extrapola�ng from Mauss’s findings,
        conjectured that ōMŌori prac�ce points to a            In Psychotherapy
        universal desire to pass on the gi� as part of the     2 Corinthians 1:4 affirms that God’s comfort to
        ac�on of gra�tudeö (Hoffman, p. 168). Ri-              us in �mes of tribula�on becomes the basis of
        coeur’s postulate has been corroborated by the         our increased ability to be of comfort to others
        empirical research of Bartle� and DeSteno              who may be struggling. A good psychotherapist
        (2006) who affirmed that the experience of gra-        is one who has travailed on the path of their
        �tude for a gi� received augments the desire           own journey of growth and is certain that the
        for prosocial ac�on, such a passing the gi� re-        faith that they are communica�ng to their pa�-
        ceived to others.                                      ent is genuine. They remember their �mes of
                                                               struggle, and their for�fying experiences of
        In Childhood                                           overcoming obstacles. As a Chris�an, they have
        For the child who has matured developmental-           witnessed the God that is good and faithful and
        ly to experience basic trust, and for others who       with them on the journey. Their experience of
        observe and understand the developmental               this good God, supported by an understanding
        process, the comfor�ng face and soothing               of His Word, mo�vates them to pass this trust
        words of the caretaker are able to quell anxie-        in Him on to others so that they, too, can “taste
        �es. There is both contagion and comprehensi-          and see that the Lord is good” (Psa. 34:8 KJV).
        on of the caregiver’s gi� of confidence and            They communicate this in implicit ways to both
        faith. As is o�en the case, a child will a�empt to     believing and non-believing pa�ents, and at
        pass this faith on to siblings and peers.              �mes in explicit ways to those who believe.
                                                               Their genuine faith is contagious to those pa�-
        Having eight grandchildren offers an amazing           ents who will receive it.
        lens on the compara�ve development of child-
        ren at different stages of maturity. Our daugh-        A pa�ent who has come to deeply trust the
        ter and her husband have three boys whose              goodness of the therapist, and can see them
        ages currently are 4, 6, and 8. During one of our      mostly without the cloak of projec�ons, can
        previous visits, a calamity occurred. The blan-        more capably receive the transmi�ed faith of
        ket of the middle child, who was two years old         the therapist. They can find comfort in the the-
        at the �me, had been lost and he was inconso-          rapist’s demeanor, calmness, words, and assu-
        lable. The eldest, who was four years old at the       redness, and implicitly know the therapist’s be-
        �me, quietly watched as dad and mom a�emp-             lief that they will overcome the hardships they




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