Page 44 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 20

want things that she had given me to be a part when she would return, offering her a bonus
of my personal life. She was not good enough
to be genuinely cared for by me. She felt rejec-
ted and contemplated termina�ng therapy.
The struggle to get beyond this rupture was
challenging. I gently and clearly asserted that I
would not accept the gi�; she remained ada-
mant that the rejec�on of the gi� was a rejec�-
on of her. As we con�nued to process our im-
passe, I became aware that my decision to not
explore her previous gi�-giving was more than
not merely because she was not sturdy enough;
it was also because her gi�s did make me feel
special. I had unconsciously colluded in making
both of us feel specialness based on both of our
early needs to experience this. As the reality of
our enactment became clear, and as the fervor
of the rupture lessened, I could interpret to
Claire that in her childhood, mother made her
feel so special when Claire took care of her.
Claire then remembered that one �me, she had
failed her mother, and her mother expressed
disappointment in her. The next day, her mo-
ther was taken in an ambulance back to the
hospital and remained there for two weeks.
Claire felt in her heart that both mother’s dis-
appointment and subsequent leaving were her
fault and that if she been able to accomplish
her mother’s had request, the calamity would
have been averted.
In our therapy, Claire could now believe that I
would steadfastly care for her regardless of
whether she was the “perfect” pa�ent or not.
She learned that striving to be perfect, and
even “special”, ul�mately deprived her of kno-
wing that she is loved for who she is. She confi-
ded that actually she thought of the idea of the
lamp when she saw some new pa�ents in the
office and felt that she would no longer be spe-
cial to me. As we explored this, she also realized
that her panic a�acks at work began when a co-
worker was hired who was younger and very
a�rac�ve. She feared that just like the husband
who had divorced her for another more a�rac-
�ve woman, her boss would reject her as well.
To her surprise, and in the middle of our pre-
sent explora�on, her boss called and asked
44
because of the long-standing rela�onship with
the company.
Claire’s rela�onship with me and with God be-
gan to change. There was an experience of
grace in God’s care for her, and one of vulnera-
bility with me. When Claire realized that she
was loved and was special regardless of her mi-
nistra�ons, she discovered more faith in me
and in God, realizing that she did not control
Him or me and that she could simply rest in this
awareness. God and I became truly “other” to
her, and her genuine faith grew.
Faith to an “Other”
Faith as a Gi�
At the outset of this paper we discussed how
faith, in the context of psychotherapy, is recei-
ved ini�ally through the ac�on of a therapist
who communicates a confidence and belief in a
pa�ent. Nancy McWilliams (2004) offers this
apt descrip�on of faith in the treatment
se�ng: “What I mean by faith is a gut-level con-
fidence in a process, despite inevitable mo-
ments of skep�cism, confusion, doubt, and
even despair” (p. 42) For this reason we descri-
bed this faith as “through” an “other.” But how
did the therapist receive the faith that they we-
re able to transmit to their pa�ent?
Rela�onality and Faith in Scripture
Scripture describes faith as a gi� of God. He-
brews chapter 11 describes the abiding trust of
the patriarchs and matriarchs in God, a trust
that developed through God’s faithfulness to
them across their lives. In 2 Timothy 1:5 Paul
describes the faith transmi�ed to Timothy
through his rela�onship with his mother, Lois,
who in turn had received the gi� of faith
through Timothy’s grandmother, Eunice.
Rela�onality and Faith in Psychotherapy
The transmission of faith is widely acknowled-
ged as essen�al to a spiritual journey. In a wider
sense, the rela�onal transmission of faith is
how basic trust and faith are received univer-