Page 54 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 18

Opening our images of others has four prere- And then: If you cannot discover anything
quisites:
1. The first and basic prerequisite is that we be-
come aware of our spontaneous, concrete jud-
gements of others and admit that they are fla-
wed.
2. To really do without these, however, also
means to renounce the benefit that these quick
images bring to me. They give me orienta�on
and protect me: for me, then, I must instead
seek my protec�on in God and endure a certain
uncertainty of orienta�on.
3. We need a real hear�elt desire not to con-
strict others by our self-tailored images! This
means that just a few arguments will not be
enough for us to renounce protec�on and ori-
enta�on. We need empathy and compassion
for the damage these images can do.
4. The next thing is to learn to resist all sponta-
neously occurring images of our counterpart
and to exercise discipline in this. The ques�on
of whether the other person could s�ll be diffe-
rent from what I think should become a con-
stant, everyday ques�on.
Then we extend four "antennas of percep�on":
Why "antennae"?
The metaphor "antenna" clarifies for me:
- I receive something, but it is 1:1 with what was sent out
at the transmi�er. There are transmission and recep�on thing they can do, something someone else
interferences.
- I have to convert linguis�c "electromagne�c waves". ful.
- And I can have several antennas.
1. The apprecia�ve antenna
Every human being has a high value in God's
eyes! He is a creature of God. God was willing
to give Himself for him.
We can learn to look at people in the same way
as we normally look at something very valua-
ble, e.g. a beau�ful flower or a precious picture.
Look up to your neighbour once again!
"Your value is not only dependent on your per-
formance, what you have or can do, or what re-
la�onships you have."
But what do I do if I don't discover anything that
appears valuable in my eyes? Perhaps I should
first check my standards of value and where
they come from.
54
valuable in your counterpart, then this value
must be "loved into reality".
How does that work?
If I am convinced that every person is valuable,
then I treat them accordingly "in advance", so
to speak, un�l what is valuable shows itself to
me. Because it is there!
We have mastered apprecia�on! Each one of
us! And we should apply this apprecia�on com-
petence to every person:
- I want to treat her/him with care.
- I am happy that she/he exists.
- I spend �me with her/him.
- I want to speak posi�vely about her/him.
2. The gi� antenna
Every person has gi�s, even if I cannot recogni-
se them immediately.
I will take �me to discover these gi�s.
I resist seeing only nega�ve things in another!
Everyone must ask themselves self-cri�cally
why they tend to see mainly nega�ve traits.
Have I myself been cri�cised a lot?
Do I need the nega�ve view of others to enhan-
ce myself?
The truth is: Everyone has something! Some-
needs, something someone else finds beau�-
Discover the other person's gi�s and encourage
them to give them, that is, to apply them.
But I will always have my own glasses on that
define what I see as a gi�.
If I don't discover anything then, it will be be-
cause of my glasses. It will be difficult to disco-
ver gi�s outside of my preconcep�ons of gi�s.
But to be convinced that they exist "anyway"
should be a goal for everyone.
And if I have this convic�on in my heart, it will
help influence my rela�onships.
3. The flaw antenna
Every human being has weaknesses and faults -
as an expression of this fallen crea�on.
The other person's faults and weaknesses
should not deter us from trus�ng them!