Page 53 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 15

Anna Rudecka (Poland)
Comment to “Attachment Anna Rudecka

in Christian Counselling is a psychologist
and psychothe-
and Therapy by Leena rapist working

Junnila” in the Centre of
Psychological
Help of Christi-
an Psychologists‘
When Werner May asked me to write a com- Association in
ment to Leena Junnila‘s article Attachment in Poland.
Christian Counselling and Therapy I fell into a
state of panic. I found this article so interesting Former contribution in our eJournal by
and informative that I though it did not need Anna you can see here:
any comments. Leena rightly pointed out the https://emcapp.ignis.de/1/#/10
importance of early attachment and how the at-
tachment style of the patient interacts with the
attachment style of the therapist. She interestin-
gly presented the three dyadic relationships and And yet we constantly put our bonds to the test.
how they translate into the context of Christian We need to do it. When I read the article At-
therapy. She also provided some fresh personal tachment in Christian Counselling and Thera-
experience as the illustration of her point and py by Leena Junnila I came up with some issues
gave some useful practical advice to the practi- which I will try to present here.
sing counsellors and therapists. I started wondering how secure attachment
style influences the development of mature, hu-
So what I am writing here is not really a com- man being with an internalized set of values. I
ment, but rather – an inspired set of reflections. am recently contemplating a thought that you
actually need to “disobey” in order to develop.
We need attachment to live. We need attach- You actually need to put the bond to the test in
ment to grow. We need attachment to learn – order to really internalise the language, culture
to learn a language, culture and values. We are and values which you are taught.
born pre-designed to learn and so we are deter-
mined to attach. Let me share with you and interesting inter-
pretation of Eve‘s development in the Garden
Similarly to most mammals we come to the of Eden provided by rabbi Remen. At first Eve
world so helpless that without attachment we was in the Garden like a little girl in a perfect-
would not survive physically (the famous Kon- ly secure attachment relationship: she trustful-
rad Lorenz‘s goslings instinctively know it), ly listened to her Father‘s commands, she was
we would not survive emotionally (remem- and an obedient little thing. But when she grew
ber? - when Frederick II Hohenstaufen tried older - just like every rebelling teenager - she
to teach children a language without providing needed to question her Father‘s values, she nee-
a secure bond they all died out within a year) ded to gain knowledge of good and evil on her
or we would not survive as a society (although own. And so in order to grow she needed to
we might create a caricature of a society as the disobey. She needed to leave the land of happy
deserted boys in Lord of the Flies by William childhood (The Never Never Land) and face a
Golding). When the ability to create bonds is life of suffering and tribulation. But her Father
broken, both our physical, emotional existence taught her everything she needed to survive, to
is at stake and the same goes for social balance. provide for herself and her family. She became a

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