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level, a need influenced my history and back- jolloin työ käy rasittavaksi ja siitä on vaikea ir-
ground. Cognitive and solution-focused the- rottautua. Nämä asiat vaikeuttavat myös asiak-
rapy approaches have seemed unhelpful and kaan etenemistä.
caused in me a strong avert response. I have
also had a tendency to be disappointed with Rakkaus kiintymyssuhteiden perustana
the therapist, if they have made references to Arietta Slade kertoo kiintymyssuhdeteorian
their background or suggestions. As my inner isän John Bowlbyn todenneen elämänsä lop-
security has been strengthened, my ability to pupuolella pojalleen Richard Bowlbylle, että ki-
receive and accept diverse approaches has also intymyssuhdeteoria on oikeastaan ”teoria rak-
increased. kaudesta” (suull. tiedonanto 2011).
During my therapy studies I have had to work
through many insecurities and learn to take Daniel Hughes pitää kaikkien kiintymyskeskei-
steps away from the childhood helper role and sen vanhemmuuden elementtien (leikkisyys,
caretaker syndrome. However, the early perso- hyväksyntä, uteliaisuus ja empatia) pohjana
nal experiences of loneliness have also served to rakkautta (Hughes 2011).
motivate an interest towards understanding the
needs of an infant, the traits of a good mother, Raamatun mukaan ”täydellinen rakkaus kar-
and through these the characteristics of a good kottaa pelon” (1. Joh. 4:18) ja efesolaiskirjeessä
therapist. I have experienced a sense of new Paavali rukoilee uskovien puolesta, että ”Kri-
and different life after having received help and stus asuisi teidän sydämessänne ja rakkaus oli-
finding areas of real personal interest, together si teidän elämänne perustus ja kasvupohja” (Ef
with the strengthening of my faith. Initially, 3:18,19).
knitting awakened my creative tendencies, for
that had no connotation of performance even at References / Viitteet:
childhood. Later on, as the early critical voices Ainsworth, M.D.S., Blehar, M.C., Waters, E., &
of anxiety and fear of failure had faded, I beca- Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psy-
me interested in further studies and exploration chological study of the strange situation. Hills-
through reading. dale, NJ: Erlbaum.
My challenges as a therapist have been along Akhtar, S. ed.: Good feelings: Psychoanalytic
the lines of the ambivalent attachment model. reflections on positive emotions and attitudes
Specific challenges have been that of setting (London, Karnac, 2009).
boundaries for clients, especially when they are Crabb Larry: Inside out (NavPress 1988, 2013).
particularly needy, and the tendency to become Crabb Larry: God’s Larger Story, via internet
enmeshed with the client’s issues. That, in turn, 2019, 2020.
makes the work more burdensome and harder Fonagy, P., Gergely, G., Jurist, E., & Target, M.
to remain detached in a healthy way. These fac- (2002). Affect regulation, mentalization and the
tors also hinder the client from going forward. development of the self. New York. Other Press.
Gerhardt Sue: Why love matters; How affection
Love as a foundation for attachment relation- shapes a baby’s brain (Routledge 2004).
ships Handbook of Attachment, ed. Cassidy & Shaver
According to Arietta Slade, the father of attach- (2018 third edition), Chapter 38, Pehr Granq-
ment theory, John Bowlby, remarked to his son vist & Lee A. Kirkpatrick: Attachment and Reli-
Richard Bowlby towards the end of his life, that gious Representations and Behavior.
the attachment theory is actually a theory of
love (verbal source, 2011).
Daniel Hughes states how the foundation for all
attachment-focused parenting elements (play- fear” (1. Jn. 4:18) and in the book of Ephesians
fulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy) is Paul prays for the believers, asking that ”Christ
love (Hughes 2011). may dwell in your hearts” and that they might
According to the Bible,” perfect love casts out be “rooted and grounded in love” (Eph. 3:17).

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