Page 79 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 8

Christian Psychology alive

Ruth E. Van Reken (USA)

Comment to Ruth E. Van Re-
ken is author of
“Treating Missionary Letters Never
Sent, her own
Kids with Psychological AMK story. She

Challenges” is also co-author
of Third Cul-
ture Kids: Gro-
wing Up Among
I read with interest both Dr. Katabua’s artic- Worlds and co-
le on treating missionary kids (MKs) and Lois founder of Fami-
Bushong’s response. As a second generation lies in Global Transition. She has traveled
adult MK (AMK), mother of 3 AMKs, and so- extensively seeking to help TCKs, their fa-
meone who has worked for over thirty years milies, and those who work deal well with
with all sectors of third culture kids (TCKs), the challenges they face so the many gifts of
countless AMKs have told me how the MK ex- a global childhood can also be recognized
perience impacted their lives. I certainly con- and well used.
cur that multiple cycles of separation and loss
are real issues with which MKs and other TCKs
must deal so they can also use the gifts of this
experience.
le who went to hell because they never heard
I also agree with both writers that despite sha- the gospel?
ring many common characteristics with TCKs
from all sectors, MKs do face some particu- Second, while parents can understand the para-
lar challenges/blessings as well. With Ms. Bu- doxical nature of faith, for children these same
shong, I believe the fact that God is the reason things can be seen as either/or. A common ob-
parents chose to be missionaries is what diffe- stacle to dealing with grief is to acknowledge it
rentiates their experience from non-MK TCKs. in the first place. Because MKs/AMKs under-
While other TCKs can praise or blame the mi- stand ‘theologically’ why the separations come,
litary, government or corporation for both the often they interpret that understanding to mean
benefits and challenges of their upbringing, “If you have enough faith, you shouldn’t feel the
MKs basically have God to praise or blame. pain,” or, “If you feel the pain, you don’t have
See http://www.quietstreamscounseling.com/ enough faith.” This can make therapy difficult.
userfiles/1116860/file/The%20Powerful%20Im- For some, the wall of “faith” feels like it will
pact%20of%20Systems.pdf for more informati- crumble if they acknowledge the grief of the
on on systems and TCKs. past. For others, it feels as if they cannot ack-
nowledge their losses if the therapist (or others)
Why is this important for therapist working tries to quickly to assure them that “Jesus is
with MKs or AMKS to know? Here are several the answer.” As one AMK wrote me, “Everyo-
reasons. ne kept telling me to trust in Jesus but the pain
never went away and in the end, I realize even
First, as with any system, a “God system” has he didn’t work.”
its own invisible messages and pressures for
MK that therapists need to consider as part of Third, for many MKs, God and the system
the whole picture. How many MKs and AMKS unknowingly become one. How MKs interpret
have told me they never dared tell anyone of the events of life through a child’s eyes is how
their struggles because then the parents would they will interpret the character of God. Some
have gone and they would have felt all the peop- AMKs tell me God seems like a big bully to

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