Page 31 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 24

Comment

In prac�ce the way from accepta�on of the pain and suffering
to re-significa�on is appears as quite big and long distance chal-
lenge. That’s why mostly basic reac�on of the regular people is
to avoid pain or forget trauma, preferring by using one “magic
pill”. It seems like the easiest way. But the pain and suffering are
only muted then. The real first stage of recovery is to under-
stand and accept that pain and suffering can be a sign like a
light on a crossroads, even if it’s a logical consequences of ne-
gligence’s. But even this consciousness/awareness does not
guarantee the making decision and the star�ng process of self-
work. Even more, this process of transforma�on to the re-signi-
fica�on of the trauma and suffering very o�en is long-term
(could take years) and divided by stages and pauses in life peri- Maksym Bondarenko
od. It's very hard talk about succeed transforma�on-developing (Max Bond)
without friendly and wise therapeu�c (both - psychological and (Ukraine), father of
spiritual) support and leading. This is important especially for the 6 kids, family
recognizing the appropriate process of reflec�on and re-signifi- counselor, war refu-
ca�on. Also such kind of supervision helps to avoid misunder- gee
standing in meaning of acceptance of the suffering as a punish-
ment or "burden of carrying the cross" itself, such common ex-
ample of immature interpreta�on of Chris�anity. Otherwise,
pain and suffering can transform and become entrenched in a
vic�m mentality.
I’m in the first line of persons who afraid pain and do not want
to suffer. I really do wish to live in the World without war, inju-
s�ce, disease and hunger. But mature meaning is not in looking
/making for or avoiding of life troubles and adversi�es. I’m real-
ly believe and already experienced that true recovery, healing
psycho-physical process is strongly connected to the transfor-
ma�on of the way of thinking and acceptance adversi�es and
own failures and limits or not. And here, the meaning, purpose
with its eternal ques�on WHY or WHAT FOR is becoming the
key ques�on. Ques�on to myself faced as mo�va�on which,
through repe��on, become a habit. And habit leads to transfor-
ma�on of the behavior of life style. Even when I must live rest
of my life already with some limita�ons and consequences of
trauma or negligence. But I s�ll can live well with it.
Re-significa�on of transforming suffering into a tool for learning
and personal development will be not possible without accep-
tance and hard systema�c self-work with faith and humility.
Faith and humility provide to acceptance which appears in Ho-
nestly admi�ng to myself that I have hit rock bo�om and am
unable to cope on my own, without the help of the Source of
eternal Life and true Love (the Main First Reason, the God) and
those whom He places on my life-path. This is will be first step
in process from the wish of healing to the resilience.

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