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idea that communica�on is not about “me”, pri- (1) Psalm 139:14 TLB
marily it is about “them”, it becomes about (2) Shakespeare, Hamlet
“us”. Then I will bring that ‘other regarding’ ap- (3) Johari Window, Building Self Awareness Trust.
(4) Donald Rumsfeld, “Unknown Unknowns.”
proach into all my marital interac�ons. It isn’t (5) Jung. Shadow side. NB: Jung didn’t co
that we have to be iden�cal in personality and (6) Maria Konnikova, On Wearing Masks
outlook. Love sees difference as an opportunity (7) Amy C. Edmondson, The Fearless Organiza�on
for love to be expressed. Kahnweiler writes in (8) Richard Rohr, Daily Blog 6/5/2024
(9) Richard Rohr, Daily Blog 6/5/2024
the context of one partner being more extro- (10) Mar�n Buber, ‘I Thou’. A G Palmer MA lecture Notes
verted and the other more introverted that, ERMC 2024
“The truth is that opposite pairs require con- (11) Mar�n Buber, ‘I Thou’. A G Palmer MA lecture Notes
stant vigilance, careful maintenance and balan- ERMC 2024
ce.” (32) It is so much easier to judge each other (12) George Ritzer, The McDonaldiza�on of Society
than to listen to one another. We need to fol- (13) Mar�n Buber, ‘I Thou’. A G Palmer MA lecture Notes
ERMC 2024
low David Kiersey’s advice in his book, Please (14) Fiske and Taylor, “Cogni�ve Miser” 1984
Understand Me, “If I do not want what you (15) Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow 2011
want, please try not to tell me that my want is (16) Paul Tieger, Speed Reading People 1999
wrong…” (33) (17) Heidi Grant Halvorson, ‘We’re All Terrible at Understan-
th
ding Each Other’ Harvard Business Review, April 16 2015
(18) Halvorson, ‘We’re All Terrible at Understanding Each
Maskenfreiheit, hiding behind the mask in mar- Other’ Harvard Business Review, April 16 2015
th
riage can be dangerous to the rela�onship and (19) Gizem Oneri Uzun, ‘A Review of Communica�on, Body
to our own wellbeing. Research consistently Language and Communica�on’ Researchgate. April 2021
(20) Gizem Oneri Uzun, ‘A Review of Communica�on, Body
shows that more ‘judgeable’ people are psycho- Language and Communica�on’ Researchgate. April 2021
logically be�er adjusted. True love casts out (21) Stefani and De Marco, ‘Language, Gesture, and Emo�o-
fear. When we know we are loved by our spou- nal Communica�on: An Embodied View of Social Interac�on’
th
se, that we have in them an anam cara –Gaelic Fron�ers in Psychology. 24 /09/2019
for “soul friend.” Communica�on becomes and (22) Sam Horn, “What is the Eyebrow Test?,” Blog post 2015
expression of that security and love.(34) (23) Jeff Thompson, ‘Is Nonverbal Communica�on a Numbers
Game?’ Psychology Today. Posted 30/9/2011
(24) Jeff Thompson, ‘Is Nonverbal Communica�on a Numbers
Game?’ Psychology Today. Posted 30/9/2011
(25) Halvorson, ‘We’re All Terrible at Understanding Each
th
Other’ Harvard Business Review, April 16 2015
(26) Halvorson, ‘We’re All Terrible at Understanding Each
th
Other’ Harvard Business Review, April 16 2015
(27) Halvorson, ‘We’re All Terrible at Understanding Each
th
Other’ Harvard Business Review, April 16 2015
(28) Mary Oliver, Have you ever tried to enter the long black
branches of other people’s lives’. Nashville Public Library
(29) Publius Syrus
(30) Kathleen Norris, Dakota: A Spiritual Geography. 2001
(31) Charles Ringma, Seize the Day with Dietrich Bonhoeffer
2000
(32) Kahnweiler
(33) David Kiersey and Marilyn M Bates, Please Understand
Me. 1984
(34) John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: Spiritual Wisdom from The
Cel�c World. 1997
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