Page 90 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 8

Christian Psychology alive

Saara Kinnunen (Finland)

Comment to

“Experiences of Christian

couples attending a

Biblically-based marriage Saara Kinnunen
(Finland)Psycho-
enrichment programme“ therapist working
in Family Coun-
seling Center in
Lutheran Church
in Finland. Master of Arts in Social Psycho-
This little study shows how a small intervention logy, Education and Musicology.
can make a difference in relationships. Chri- Board member of ACC in Finland and of
stian couples relied on the biblical marriage ISARPAC. Author of several books about
enrichment programme, and that is why they marriage, parenting and counseling.
found it useful to themselves. Love and respect
are both biblical and human bases of marital re- Articles by Saara:
lationship. Christian couples loved to hear what http://emcapp.ignis.de/6/#/14
the Bible teaches about the duties of marriage. http://emcapp.ignis.de/6/#/140
http://emcapp.ignis.de/6/#/194
A top idea of this programme is that the spouses
told each other in which way they wished to be
loved and respected. According to my experi-
ence as a couple therapist people do not know
what their spouse’s love language is. I often ask
my clients: “How can you know your husband/
wife loves you? What could he/she do or what
would he/she do before to make you feel loved
and respected?” Sometimes I use a reflecti- about the right track. They were afraid of for-
ve question: “What would you guess that your getting what they had learned and of reverting
spouse would answer if I asked him/her: ‘When to their previous behaviour. I encourage the
is it that you feel loved in your marital relation- couples to keep going!
ship?’” We all are astonished at how much their
answers differ from their spouse’s ideas. It would be interesting to know who those who
did not find the enrichment day very useful are.
The results of this study were exactly the same as Do they have a traditional understanding about
my experience after marriage enrichment days. the roles of husband and wife, where spouses
The feedback is 90% positive after the training. are not equal? Do the husbands think that they
It would be interesting to measure the impact of own their wives, who are supposed to fulfil their
the enrichment day after a month or half a year. husbands’ needs, but not vice versa.
According to my experience, about 30% would
say that even then they can perceive the benefi- It would also be interesting to compare the
cial effect of the enrichment day. couples’ answers with Gary Chapman’s five love
languages, which are the following: words of af-
An interesting detail is that many participants firmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of
told that they wanted to go on and have another service, and physical touch. I wonder if the love
enrichment day. They had realised that they languages in South Africa are the same as in the
needed something that would remind them western world.

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