Page 36 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 7

Foundational Discussions in Christian Psychology

35). The former is seen to be more biblical with gy which offers consistency between our intel-
a focus on repentance, submission, and humi- lectual understanding of God (loving, compas-
lity. The latter is characteristic of most secular sionate, and flexible) and our emotional experi-
psychologies with an emphasis on self-esteem ence of him can assist counselors in this regard
and empowerment. A relational model can by offering a framework in which to counsel.
bridge the gap between “secular” and “Christi-
an” approaches. Relational theology emphasizes Third, relational theology’s emphasis on divi-
God’s love and desire for healthy relationships, ne self-limitation and respect for human free-
thus empowerment would occur through an ac- dom can assist clients with understanding and
ceptance of God’s love. God’s desire for loving dealing with suffering. Many Christians who
relationship with his people involves invitation, are enduring hardships suffer a second crisis
not coercion, and sharing of power. He is view- in that they wonder “why is God doing this
ed more as a loving parent than an angry judge to me?” Relational theology explains suffering
who will condemn the sinner. When people do partly as a result of the free choice of others who
turn away from God, He is saddened but always may turn away from God and thus inflict harm
longs to welcome them back. on others. God does not necessarily cause the
grief, but he grieves with us and is present to
However, it is important to be reminded of the provide comfort. In my experience, this under-
critiques of relational theology. Although love is standing can be very liberating for people. And,
emphasized over judgment, even secular coun- in my opinion, this idea fits much better with a
selors recognize that gentle confrontation is of- compassionate Christian counseling approach
ten needed; “speaking the truth in love” (Eph. than does a theology of divine control and de-
4:15). There are occasions when repentance is terminism.
helpful in furthering the divine-human relati-
onship. This model also reflects the experience Fourth, relational theology can guide decision
of most counselors, who instinctively empha- making. Because God is flexible and responsi-
size divine love over judgment. In my own work ve to our actions, He does not necessarily have
in guiding patients through prayer healing, “one” specific plan for our lives (this is not a
when God speaks to people, they never experi- biblical idea, but is common in popular piety),
ence him as angry or judgmental. Instead they but works with us in our decision making, and
receive gentle nudges and encouragement. For walks with us in our lives. Although we are de-
example, a patient of mine with a severe abuse pendent on God, we are also responsible for our
history had an insight during prayer that it is part in the relationship. And when we mess us,
more sinful to hate herself than to hate others. we can trust that the divine potter will mold us
anew.
Second, relational theology’s emphasis on an
intimate God-human relationship can guide Finally, a theological emphasis on human re-
Christian counseling. This is important not sponsibility is likely to be helpful in therapy.
only with respect to the therapist-client rela- Although relationship is primary, the content
tionship modeling the divine-human one, but of therapy almost always involves choice. Re-
also with respect to healing of wounding from gardless of the technique used, clients have re-
previous relationships. For example, someone sponsibility for showing up in the first place. In
who has experienced abuse at the hands of her guiding people in their relationships with God
father may have difficulty in relating to God as and with others, we can point out the choices
Father. Given divine flexibility, we can instead they have with respect to thoughts and actions.
work on a relationship with Jesus as friend. The- We can stress God’s desire for loving relation-
rapists may use many techniques, as diverse as ships with us, but that ultimately the choice is
CBT or spiritual disciplines, in nurturing the ours.
spiritual relationships of clients. In therapy the- Overall, I believe that a relational view of God
re is usually more of a focus on emotional issues has many advantages over the traditional view
rather than intellectual ones. Relational theolo- and that these are especially applicable to psy-

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