Page 163 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 8

Forum

Then who is an individual within such enormous expanse of matter? Do
one individual count? Yes, indeed! Africans believe that the very God
who created the heavens took pleasure in creating human beings in his
own likeness and placing them in a habitable planet called Earth. This
God personally takes interest in each individual giving them worth and
identity. Africa is reputed to be a continent that is still in touch with these
spiritual realities and may “yet prove to be the spiritual conservatory of
the world ...When the civilized nations in consequence of their wonder-
ful material development, shall have had their spiritual susceptibilities
blunted through the agency of a captivating and absorbing materialism,
it may be that they have to resort to Africa to recover some of the simp-
le elements of faith,” (Edward Wilmot Blyden, Liberian Statesman and
Educator, 1869).

Relationships

Africans believe that a person is not whole without healthy relationships:
A single bracelet does not jingle (Congo proverb). If you want to go quik-
kly, go alone; if you want to go far, go together (Kenyan proverb). Relati-
onships create friendships, and friendships enhance efficiency: Two ants
do not fail to pull one grasshopper (Tanzanian proverb).
A whole person develops, nurtures and maintains relationships. In re-
lating with others, people generally move in three ways: towards, away
from or against. People who move towards others are secure and un-
afraid of relating, focusing more on the needs of others rather than their
own. These people are natural encouragers. They pay attention to others
and listen with care, refraining from demandingness – the compulsion to
behave as is others are there to meet their needs. Their sense of security
assumes that the individual’s needs are being met from somewhere else,
and so the focus on holistic living.
People who move away from others are insecure and afraid of relating
with others. Most probably, someone wounded them in a past relati-
onship or they suffered rejection. Now, the thought of coming close to
others scares them intensely. Past pain causes such people to undermine
themselves and even to kill potential relationships before they take root.
Past pain should be dealt with if holistic balanced living is to be realized.
People who move against others are usually angry and vengeful most
probably hurting from a painful past where their trust was betrayed.
They have convinced themselves that the world is a bad place and no one
can be trusted. Most of these individuals’ energy goes to blocking relati-
onships or narcissistically drawing attention to themselves. Such people
quickly build resentment around themselves as others shun them and
their company. To live holistically will mean careful evaluation of why
the individual repels others so that the roots of anger or narcissism can
be addressed and balanced living restored.
Holistic balanced living calls for not only making friends but also nurtu-
ring healthy relationships – Hold a true friend with both your hands (Ni-
gerian proverb) and using friends to evaluate oneself: There is no better
mirror than an old friend (Cape Verdian proverb). Friends enrich us: To
be without a friend is to be poor indeed (Tanzanian proverb). We should

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