Page 141 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 5

A Portrait of a Christian Psychologist: Paul C. Vitz

zed goals. (For Horney and Ellis, below, see any ve, the clients discussed here are not candidates
good personality textbook, e.g. Monte & Sollod, for self-forgiveness – but instead their “shoulds”
2003). or “musts” are to be treated as illusions and ex-
These “shoulds” often have been unconsciously amples of harmful cognitive schemas. That is,
adopted from the ideals presented by family or the negative residual feelings are not the result
society. The client may have nourished certain of failing to forgive the self.
beliefs that he or she is not really good unless Christian clients can be challenged in an addi-
he or she is morally perfect. Perhaps clients be- tional way that recognizes their religious con-
lieve that to be a really good person they must victions. In conjunction with therapies such as
be married, have a PhD, be rich, or work in an CBT, a faith-based client can be reminded of
elite law firm. Driven by a set of “shoulds”, the the scriptural admonition against creating their
client cannot look beyond the self to see that own standards for what makes life worthwhile.
millions of other people have found happiness While we strive for goodness we fail. We sin.
and purpose without following their particular Judgment is the Lord’s; we are not to judge or
set of “shoulds”. condemn ourselves. Self-condemnation is a sin
These “shoulds” often become increasingly ty- for which all need God’s forgiveness. In parti-
rannical the more the client falls short of them. cular, we are not to condemn ourselves because
Understanding the irrational origins of these we failed to meet our own high standard of mo-
“shoulds” or “musts” will help the client escape ral living. Moral perfectionism has no place in
from the self-imposed tyrannical reign. These a Christian’s self understanding. Above all, the
negative feelings, however, are not resolved by client should not create internal idols. The pre-
self-forgiveness, but rather by a holistic self- sence of such demanding moral or social ideals
acceptance which acknowledges that the failu- are signs of pride that require forgiveness from
res of today need not be a life-sentence, and by God and from others hurt by the presence of
a change of one’s cognitions to a more realistic such idols in the client’s life. It is not self-for-
and accurate reflection of the self. giveness, but rather authentic self-acceptance
Such psychological tyranny has since Horney and humility that will free the client from the
continued to be observed. For example, con- previously noted negative feelings. Often the
sider Albert Ellis’ “musterbation” theory: “I client must escape from an unconscious self
must achieve this or I must be that way, or I am righteous moral superiority that made it im-
nothing.” More recently (1990), Roy Baumeister possible to accept God’s or others’ forgiveness
has identified the same painful situation: in the first place. In such cases self-forgiveness
The individual is therefore aware of self as in- therapy would only intensify the inability to
competent, dislikable, guilty, inadequate, or find genuine forgiveness.
otherwise bad. Two sets of standards are par-
ticularly relevant. First, the status quo is often Inadequate reparation or amends
an important standard, and so shortfalls may An additional cause of negative feelings which
occur if the self compares unfavorably with its can falsely imply a need for self-forgiveness,
own past level of quality. Second, other people’s can be inadequate reparation, perceived or real.
expectations constitute important standards, Reparative work not only assists with the resto-
and so shortfalls may consist of private feelings ration of justice, but also helps the healing of
that one cannot live up to what others expect. the transgressor-client. However, if the injustice
In either case, the result is that it is not just re- is not taken seriously, then forgiveness from
cent events, but the self, that is perceived as fal- another often will feel “cheap” and will fail to
ling short of expectations” (1990). help resolve residual negative feelings. Good
To escape these “shoulds”, the effective therapist religious practice, for example, demonstrates
can help the client envision a more realistic self the necessity of an adequate penance. “Whereas
understanding and set of goals. Such approa- punishment may become routine in its destruc-
ches are, of course, common in cognitive and tiveness, penance may be creative, affirming,
behavioral therapy (CBT). From this perspecti- and able to address some of the unique aspects

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