Page 142 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 23

although in a subjec�ve sense for him, mee�ng me in their own ways. Without delving into these diffe-
can be very healing during the therapy. I, on the rences, I want to ask a ques�on about your rela�o-
other hand, have to defend myself against the nality.
tempta�on of messianism, against taking on the
role of God, against pride. I have to do my part and We know that a certain honesty in assessing your
leave. Both on a weekly basis and on a trial-wide own feelings for individual pa�ents is important,
basis. this should of course be an element of supervision.
I like someone more, someone less, someone con-
stantly bores or irritates me, someone is the object
2. We come to reflect on what this job is in my life, of my fascina�on.
what it gives me and what I give back to it. When
we entered this profession, we probably wondered But I wanted to ask a more general ques�on - how
where this choice came from, what mo�vated us, is rela�onality woven into the technical and intel-
how our experiences of various fulfillments and dis- lectual elements of therapy, into tasks, exercises,
fulfillments contributed to this career path. But it is mentaliza�on, interpreta�ons, analyses or struc-
worth reflec�ng on an ongoing basis on what place ture? What is the background and what is the figu-
this job specifically has in my life. Why, and also re in your office? Do you like being in a rela�onship
why I do this difficult profession. What does it give with a pa�ent or do you feel safer having a set of
me, what needs does it sa�sfy, what ambi�ons specific tools at hand? It is obvious that with �me
does it fulfill, what gaps does it cover, what ideals and age you can feel much more at ease in this pro-
and desires can I fulfill thanks to it. When does hel- fession and therefore also in the rela�onship with
ping people fulfill me and what is the reason for the pa�ent. This is usually a no�ceable process.
this?
There is, however, another aspect of this ma�er,
We also need to see what this profession requires and it concerns trust, and it seems to me that this
of me, what do I have to give back, maybe even sa- is a much more serious ma�er. When a pa�ent co-
crifice to be an effec�ve psychotherapist? It may mes to us, we count on them to trust us, to put
turn out (and it o�en does) that work is my life, that themselves in our professional hands, to not check,
it takes up a lot of space and �me, effort and emo- ques�on, or boyco� too much. We know that we
�ons and a large network of rela�onships. When can help them more if they consider us to be the
you add training, readings, supervisions, confe- right person for the job. Of course, this is done on
rences, it may turn out that from Monday to Sun- credit, because we are strangers and in our private
day I use my energy on the professional sphere. You lives we do not open up to such a level at the first
can se�le into this profession. Is that bad? We o�en mee�ng with someone we have just met. Our pro-
tell pa�ents - it depends. But diagnosing yourself in fession creates a situa�on in which a person over-
these propor�ons of privacy and work is really comes their natural resistance to confide in their
worth it. problems at the first mee�ng, o�en mo�vated by
us with further interview ques�ons. This can be
We can also add reflec�on on the division of re- more or less technical, more or less delicate. Let us
sponsibility in the therapy process, what I am re- ask ourselves how important and valuable it is for
sponsible for and what the pa�ent is responsible us that people confide in us? Does it move me, do I
for. It is not only about ac�vity and passivity during see it as a gi� for me? How much do I work to make
the session, but much more about who cares more this value of a rela�onship based on trust really im-
about the pa�ent's recovery, i.e. who bears greater portant for me and the pa�ent.
responsibility for the effect of the therapy. We
know from years of work how big a trap this is, not
only for young therapists. The ques�on is symmetrical and very necessary,
although some�mes confron�ng and uncomforta-
ble – who do I entrust myself to in my life, is it easy
3. The third area to reflect on being a psychothera- or difficult, how do I allow insight into my life, into
pist is rela�onal issues. I mean primarily how I cope my delicate areas? Do I have a mentor, a spiritual
with being with a pa�ent. Because this rela�onship companion whom I can trust? And finally – how do
is always there. We know that different modali�es I entrust myself to God, His guidance, His Word? In
emphasize the therapeu�c rela�onship in different my rela�onship with the pa�ent, is he really convin-
places, assign it a different role, teach how to use it ced that God is present, who is a Good Father? Ent-

142
4
2
1
142