Page 123 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 23

My ques�on was then how o�en I would have to As a young Chris�an, I would at this point have
repeat the whole thing so that no-one would have stopped this digression on the doctrine of faith. The
any more doubts. We discussed the credibility of most important thing for me would have been said:
my person, the circumstances of this exercise, that Let's throw ourselves into life! Let's learn to trust
there would be no high risk if there was no chocola- God more and more, even in the most mundane
te, that some people were more trus�ng and ma�ers and even in our professional lives!
others more suspicious. We also discussed what But we do not believe in our great faith, but in a
this exercise meant for our trust in God. great God. It is not our faith that moves mountains,
Then I did the exercise again, this �me with five but “only” reaches out to the God who can move
bars. Some s�ll doubted, the person who had fet- mountains.
ched the five bars usually handed out plenty of cho- In my various areas of life, I desire a faith that ho-
colate to everyone else. It was always an “expensi- nors God. Our faith reaches out to him for whom he
ve” lecture for me. (One �me - it just had to be is wai�ng, and then he acts as he sees fit in his
done - I then increased it to twenty-five bars. Unfor- greatness and love, and gives what is appropriate,
tunately, I forgot to ask who s�ll had doubts). perhaps differently than I imagine in my limita�ons,
But how do I go from doubt and unbelief to faith? but he gives.
Firstly, I have to move from unbelief and doubt to- Our first conversion wants to lead us deeper and
wards faith and trust. Secondly, I am convinced that deeper into trust in God.
faith is a gi� from God. I don't have to earn it, but I
can ask for it. The second conversion
I was a li�le shocked to observe that some Chris�-
For me, this is part of the first conversion: I desire a ans skip the second conversion, the conversion to
faith that honors God in the various areas of my life. the fellowship, church or body of Christ, or leave it
oThe first step towards faith is to realize what you again. The experiences of the first decade of faith
have believed so far. Everyone believes something, are usually very much associated with community
the only ques�on is what. Then the ques�on arises experiences. For many, the encounter with bro-
as to whether you want to s�ck with it. You have to thers and sisters is a libera�on from loneliness, a
realize that faith has an effect. As placebo research strong experience of belonging, and a source of di-
shows, even something that is not true has an verse support and a shared journey.
effect if we believe it. This can obscure two things. Firstly, that in a certain
If I come to the conclusion that what I have belie- sense we are naïve in not recognizing the limita�-
ved so far is wrong, then I have to think about what ons and faults, shortcomings and weaknesses of
I want to believe from now on. That the one who others. Recognizing these a�er a while leads us into
gives will be given back? That I will one day live a phase of disillusionment and this in turn tempts
eternally redeemed? That God will answer my pray- us to distance ourselves or withdraw because we
ers? do not want to give up the image of an ideal fellow-
I admit to myself (possible) doubts about this, be- ship.
cause lying to myself or posi�ve thinking will not Secondly, we may not realize in the early days that
help. Then I ask in prayer that I be given concrete we are measuring the value of the fellowship - ob-
faith and put my doubts aside. viously or unconsciously - against the value and be-
And now comes a difficult step: ac�on. Do we act in nefits for ourselves. When we no longer feel that
line with our faith? Do we take an umbrella with us we are ge�ng something, or no longer expect any-
when we pray for rain a�er a prolonged dry spell? thing, fellowship loses its value for some. Then they
‘What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someo- withdraw or even leave congrega�ons, even a�er
ne claims: “I believe”, but has no corresponding de- many years of membership.
eds to show for it? ... It was only through his (Abra- The second conversion involves the decision to see
ham's) deeds that his faith was perfected.’ oneself fundamentally as a member of the body of
James 2:14.22 Christ, the desire to be and remain in the church,
If I believe, I myself have to be one of those who and the deep convic�on that being a Chris�an wi-
stand up and get the chocolate, and probably se- thout the church is unimaginable. The church has
veral �mes, un�l I believe without doub�ng. two meanings and tasks: First and foremost, it is

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