Page 142 - EMCAPP-Journal No. 13

their mind. The therapist neglects self-care in ne else gets upset with my ’NO’, that is not bad
addition to presenting their exhaustion through in itself or to be avoided. Rather, it is a signal
cynicism and feelings of guilt, disappointment that the other person is not able to deal with
and depression. Secondary traumatization hap- my ‘NO.’ The benefit of ’NO’ is worth enduring
pens little by little. Also, the therapist’s personal someone’s anger or irritation! Werner chal-
trauma experiences leave them more vulnerab- lenged us to be reconciled with ‘NO‘ and asked
le. The challenge for the therapist is to recognize if we also accept God as someone who someti-
the emotional boundaries and ownership of a mes says NO. Using a ‘NO‘ that heals requires
particular emotion. Figuratively, in whose yard agreeing on boundaries during the ‘time of
does the feeling or reaction belong? How should peace‘, meaning while the relationship is peace-
the emotional property lines be strengthened? ful. A healing ‘NO‘ also needs to be accompa-
The therapist must learn to see that they can- nied by a supportive and open relationship, a
not change what has happened to their client. meeting of hearts.
Neither can they control how the client will The EMCAPP-conference attendees left the ve-
get through their pain and what will happen nue thankful for the conference organizers and
to them. The therapist, however, can give love, for the opportunity to come together with other
support, tools and empowering. They must also Christian helping professions. Hopefully this
let go and release their client gently into Hands is only the beginning and the conferences may
that are greater than theirs. continue in the future in other locations.
The Precident of EMCAPP, Werner May, taught - The networking of Christian helpers is vitally
on a topic that he has been developing for over important, Werner May mentioned in a news-
twenty years: A Healing ‘YES’ and ‘NO’: Setting paper interview.
Boundaries through a Dialogue. To say ’NO’ is - Don’t stay alone, but come together. Organize
very hard, as we would rather avoid the diffi- training and other events and get to know each
culties which arise from the word. Werner May other. Have a united front, Werner exhorts.
challenged the participants to take a closer look Coming together facilitates opportunities and
at their personal history of dealing with ’NO’: strength which are not possible when we re-
How did our parents use the word - and how do main alone. We need each other in order to be
we practice it? Each ‘NO’ is likely to cause irri- encouraged and receive advice, he states.
tation! That is unavoidable. However, if someo-

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